I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
