piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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