just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
