ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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