Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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