she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
