You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize