In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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