Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
