My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
