dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
