I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
