I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
