You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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