I think I died a long time ago.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
