just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i need to put some appletini on your dick
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
