I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
