Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
