I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
