; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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