kristin has been a bad kristin
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
