I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
