I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
