Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You are the jesus of drinking
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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