we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
