just come out here and I will go home with you...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
