That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
