I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
