I hate all girls vehemently.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
