I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
