should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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