If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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