i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
