I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize