based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
