Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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