I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He better not be in your backpack
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
