rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
