Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize