The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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