honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
