Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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