to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
