Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
