I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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