Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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