I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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