is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
