Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
