His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He felt like a one man threesome
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
