oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
