NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
