her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
