Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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