he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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