I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
