I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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