take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
and you fell through a lawn chair
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
