so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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