He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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