I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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