the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
