I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
