No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
